Monday, July 28, 2008

She smiles in the lost world

I asked my best friend, who looked satisfied, but was in a grief, that what was wrong with him? He told me his story...

His wife died in an accident. All he can now bury is her belongings. Since he did not live with her, her belongings are with others, which he is going to take back and bury. Her belongings include a shirt (Qameez) orange in color, a Pakistani female trouser (Shalwar) white in color with threads embroidery, a South Asian stall (Dupatta), Sleepers (Chappals:kolapuris) of orange color which he bought after much selection, a maroon leather wallet with her name printed in golden over it which was the last gift he presented to his wife, a movie dvd which he just compiled for her with movies: Juno, The Bourne Series, etc, a card which he made and she pasted on her room’s with title “together we sit”, having her family's group photo in it and two cell phone SIM cards that he bought for her in the past years which she used untill she died...

Hearing this story from him, I got shocked and I felt really grieved... I thought he was making it hard on himself, he must simply forget everything and move on, but he convinced me:

"I was not used to wake up in the morning on my own. But since the incident, my sleep gets disturbed very early in the morning, and after that I get horrible dreams. Nearly daily. In my dreams I saw her coming to me, being angry at me, once I saw her brushing my hairs with her hands and when I asked her to come along with me, she just walked away, 'moved on' would be the right word. I couldn't bare all this... I had to bury her, or else her thought keep roaming in my mind all the times. I talk to her, I try to tell her that it was not the supposed thing to happen, she passes by me, and just moves on, I shriek, all in agony, but she just 'moves on', I can't live this way Zain,... I would have gone to end my life, but it will be injustice to my parents in their old age, and to my brother and sisters, so I need to end this somehow..."

"...I will bury her belongings, to a grave, put a slab with her name engraved sweetly over it, will do it all alone, stay there, cry for her, and put an end to the unending love I have for her... I would still love her, and whenever I would miss her badly, would go to her grave, cry a bit and recite prayers for her... I get happy by the thought of doing so... My love will get eternal then..."

This sounded very emotional for me, but I just placed myself on his place, and found peace by this thought. So he actually convinced me for what he is doing. He added a line to me, which sounded logical, and since it is all unharmful, I accepted this commented: "Emotional people can only be healed emotionally Zain..."

The last thing that he mentioned, was cute: "When I imagine my love properly buried, I find her satisfied with me. She smiles in the lost world, and all I can see from the lost world, is her smile."

May they both rest in peace, not in pieces.
God bless them with peace.

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