Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The method is simple, you go to Imambargah Khairul Amal, pay them a sum of 7000 Rs., and get a receipt which confirms a grave booked. They make the title slab on their own, so you don't need to order it separately (this is as per my conversation with the representative I called).
My friend asked to get a grave for the burial of her wife's belongings. I will go there on friday to help him out with this...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Then I called my mother, just to tell her that i have reached home. Told her not to work overwhelmingly as people will be coming over to our place nearly all day long to have their participation in the Niaz.
Then I called my eldest sister, who was in her school van on her way to school, talked to her about when will she come to our home, and just had a small chat.
This was a Good Morning. A Good Morning Talk.
Moral: Talking to siblings, without any topic, every few days, make them feel that you are there for them. It is a healthy activity, and important too.
Monday, July 28, 2008
In this small 1 minute 47 seconds conversation, in which nearly 1 minute was taken by the IVR and the operator, I felt a really cold thing: The guy who recieved my call, just replied that "call at around one", no 'please', no 'I'm sorry the person is not available at the moment', no gestures. I have heard it in a training, that whenver you get a phone call, smile while you accept the call, it really works out to have a nice conversation, however small it may be. Probably that is what the guy needed to do, because the conversation I just had with him I felt him as a guy with less etiquettes.
His wife died in an accident. All he can now bury is her belongings. Since he did not live with her, her belongings are with others, which he is going to take back and bury. Her belongings include a shirt (Qameez) orange in color, a Pakistani female trouser (Shalwar) white in color with threads embroidery, a South Asian stall (Dupatta), Sleepers (Chappals:kolapuris) of orange color which he bought after much selection, a maroon leather wallet with her name printed in golden over it which was the last gift he presented to his wife, a movie dvd which he just compiled for her with movies: Juno, The Bourne Series, etc, a card which he made and she pasted on her room’s with title “together we sit”, having her family's group photo in it and two cell phone SIM cards that he bought for her in the past years which she used untill she died...
Hearing this story from him, I got shocked and I felt really grieved... I thought he was making it hard on himself, he must simply forget everything and move on, but he convinced me:
"I was not used to wake up in the morning on my own. But since the incident, my sleep gets disturbed very early in the morning, and after that I get horrible dreams. Nearly daily. In my dreams I saw her coming to me, being angry at me, once I saw her brushing my hairs with her hands and when I asked her to come along with me, she just walked away, 'moved on' would be the right word. I couldn't bare all this... I had to bury her, or else her thought keep roaming in my mind all the times. I talk to her, I try to tell her that it was not the supposed thing to happen, she passes by me, and just moves on, I shriek, all in agony, but she just 'moves on', I can't live this way Zain,... I would have gone to end my life, but it will be injustice to my parents in their old age, and to my brother and sisters, so I need to end this somehow..."
"...I will bury her belongings, to a grave, put a slab with her name engraved sweetly over it, will do it all alone, stay there, cry for her, and put an end to the unending love I have for her... I would still love her, and whenever I would miss her badly, would go to her grave, cry a bit and recite prayers for her... I get happy by the thought of doing so... My love will get eternal then..."
This sounded very emotional for me, but I just placed myself on his place, and found peace by this thought. So he actually convinced me for what he is doing. He added a line to me, which sounded logical, and since it is all unharmful, I accepted this commented: "Emotional people can only be healed emotionally Zain..."
The last thing that he mentioned, was cute: "When I imagine my love properly buried, I find her satisfied with me. She smiles in the lost world, and all I can see from the lost world, is her smile."
May they both rest in peace, not in pieces.
God bless them with peace.
Monday, July 21, 2008
May God help me...
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
I was in shortage of a friend, a good great close friend, whom I could tell everything I have been having in my heart, who could help me in everything, who could lead me out from the current mud to a rehab, and from the rehab to a normal life. Being in a bad situation, I just went blind and couldn't see anyone. But out of the blue, really suddenly, someone said 'knock knock', and I just found the perfect partner. My new best friend, brand new! :) I know my best friend has a shining personality... I can confidently say hat my new best friend has all I wanted. (Yes, I was in need. I don't feel shy, and find no harm in speaking out that I needed a friend.). Now I know I have to keep up with my friend.
Good times coming ahead! Promising ones.
Khuda Hafiz! :)
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
This is exactly what I am trying to practise right now as I type this post. It might be a little difficult to do so in the beginning as is the case with me, but there is a workaround which really helps: indulge yourself in some activity which might get you some relief, or might interest you. The easiest of which is blogging, of course, and people who cannot blog, can do some other stuff, like make a drawing and color it! Start composing a poem, think of azaad nazam (independent poetry), or if you are not a artistic kidn of personality, start thinking out of the box for a really new and different kind of business that can come into being!
Wow, its all awesome! :)
Next things which can now reduce this negative effect further can be less talking and keeping track of office time, that how much time has been spent on what.
Probably I will have to listen and understand Atif Fasihi and Ayaz-ul-Hassan's Q theories yet again and in fact it will be great if I post them to my blog so that i remember them better!
ETA: COW. (Estimated Time of Arrival: Close Of Week)
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Email from Anil:
I’m excited to say we will be having a mango party sometime this week preferably on Thursday. I kindly request everyone pitch in 100 rupees and have a fun and wild time enjoying mangos.
(Look at his "mangos"'s spelling :P)
Just did the money collection, I have got 3700 rupees in my pocket now, will buy many different kinds of mangoes and thinking to have some better arrangement than the one we have in the cafeteria!
Mangoes all the way tomorrow!!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
One thing I have grabbed, an interest, and this is to blog. What is blogging? It is maybe nothing more than catharsis, and we all need this to sort our brains. But there is always a need of a happy face to be in your brain. It might be your own smiling face, your nephew's laughing face, your wife's satisfied face, whatever it is there has to be satisfaction in you. What if satisfaction is not there? I do not know the answer, there are answers out there, but I do not have them settled in my mind.
Anyway, I am happy to have a small interest getting developed in me.